Overcoming Fear of Success

Recently I came across the book "Overcoming The Fear Of Success" by Martha Friedman. In reading this book, I found it refreshing to have someone as direct, knowledgeable and to the point about the Fear of Success that I decided to quote several pages.

"To get what we want, we first have to know what we want, and for that we have to know who we really are."

"It's too bad that these last words, 'who we really are,' have become a sort of joke, buzzwords to put down the 'Me' phenomenon that we are in the process of experiencing. It's a shame, because the basic concept of ‘Know Thyself' is absolutely essential to overcoming the fear of success. Too many of us have faulty perceptions of ourselves; we'll go nowhere until we come up with honest appraisals."

"Any number of self-help success books advocates and promise that with self-awareness and self-knowledge, all things are possible." "Wrong." "What usually happens to people who have a fear of success is that they do a lot of soul-searching and then say, 'All right, I know myself -- I'm a mess."

"These books say things like: 'Are you feeling depressed about losing a job?' A lover? Then they advise, 'Go to a party; put on a happy face; who knows who you might meet there.' Or the say, 'Feeling guilty is a waste of time.' Both of these pieces of advice are just too much hogwash, neither deals with the root of such depression or guilt. In fact, such advice easily produces a still greater sense of unhappiness about non achievement."

Ms. Friedman goes on to talk about how many books, only suggest Band-Aid cures and don't deal with the internalized negative messages both parental and societal -- that keep us from enjoying our full potential. She suggests that to discover the underlying reasons for self-sabotage in our careers, sex lives and elsewhere that there are no shortcuts. She says "one of the best ways to start on an exploration to see whether or not you have a 'fear of success' is to see if you relate to any of the following symptoms.

"Are you a perfectionist?"
"Do you procrastinate?"
"Do you have difficulty making decisions?"
"Do you fear making a mistake?"
"Do you fell too fat for sex?"
"Do you use sex as a weapon?"
"Do you repeat mistakes?"
"Have you ever said, 'I can't get is all together and I don't Know why'?"

The above is only a sampling of questions. If you related to any of these questions, Chances are you have a fear of success.
(Overcoming The Fear Of Success; Martha Friedman; Warner Books)