7 Steps to PERMANENT Change for 2009

1. Have a written plan detailing the specific skills you want to change. The more specific the better. “To be a better listener” isn’t specific enough. “To ask better questions and talk less” is very specific.

2. Include DAILY reminders and/or practice exercises in your plan for consistant reinforcement… Repetition is the mother of learning... Find a place and time for consistant reinforcement—look for opportunities throughout the day to use the skills in real situations.

3. Include a plan of action to respond if you revert back to old behaviors. Don’t “beat yourself up” if this happens, because it happens to everyone. The key is to know this in advance and have a plan in place to quickly reinforce the desired behaviors when you do revert back. For example, if you know you tend to ramble a bit to much (perhaps because of nervousness) when doing group presentations, when you catch yourself doing this have two or three “re-framing” thoughts or actions memorized that allow you to immediately get back on a positive track such as “Sorry –
I tend to ramble when I’m nervous – but this is important information and I want to make three key points.”

4. Develop visual reminders of the benefits and rewards to be achieved through changing your behaviors and the price to be paid if you do not change. Photos on the refridgerator ( of Winston Chrchill or Dr. Martin Luther King to represent great presentation skill, of your family to represent clear communication, etc.), notes on your bathroom mirror, your desk, or the dashboard of your car.

5. Notice if your plan is working—if after a few weeks you don’t notice any positive change, it’s time to re-evaluate your plan. You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.

6. Share your plans with supportive friends and co-workers. Ask for their help in keeping your plan on track. Select a few people to give a weekly or monthly “report card” on your progress.

7. Reward yourself for small victories—but keep the rewards proportional. Minor progress deserves a minor reward, but when you have achieved a major milestone in the plan, reward yourself with a major celebration.